i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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