I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
