If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
