i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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