No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
