umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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