You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
