Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
