i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Im part way to drunk.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
