my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
