She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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