You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
