smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
