did you get engaged???
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
