After last night, I could never be a politician.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
