I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
