is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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