my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
