ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
