Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
