no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm both gender and math confused
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
