We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
