I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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