Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My nipple is on Facebook.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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