my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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