she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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