We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
