real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
