i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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