Dual....:-)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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