idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
