11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
