haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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