I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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