Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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