I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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