i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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