I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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