i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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