Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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