I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
