so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
