The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
