What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
