white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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