My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Less talking, more tequila
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize