K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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