life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
