Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize