You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
