That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
