If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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