I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
