Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
