I puked a lego.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
