Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
