Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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