Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
