hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
