maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
