alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
