Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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