i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
