so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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