You can't motorboat a personality
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize