he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
